Confessions of an avocado addict

Avocado millennials

(Curse you avocado. The downfall of millennials everywhere.)

So a while ago I read an article about a millionaire who had said that the reason that millennials were struggling to buy houses was because they insisted on going to brunch every weekend to eat their ‘smashed avocado on toast.’

‘Rubbish’, I thought, as I had another bite of my mashed (which is totally different to ‘smashed’) avocado on Waitrose olive bread.

No seriously – that’s actually what I was eating.

There were a number of things about this statement which irritated me. Firstly the assumption that the reason this generation is struggling to buy houses is not because the housing market has rocketed to such insane levels that wages simply can’t keep up with. Nor perhaps that previous generations had significantly less tuition costs than this generation, whilst at the same time facing an increasing expectation from employers that you will have a degree. No, clearly it’s because the millennial generation are feckless spenders who like to waste their money enjoying life instead of socking away all their pennies under the mattress. THAT’S the problem.

‘Grrr,’ I thought. As did many others.

Now apparently I am a millennial. I don’t really know what that means, but I’m reliably informed that I am one. And this millennial decided many moons ago that she would like a house. So my partner and I made that our goal. We had no idea if or when we would reach it. But we worked really really f-ing hard, and saved everything, and sacrificed a ton of things with that goal in mind.

We definitely had some luck and help along the way (although I do believe you make your own luck to an extent) and we did eventually manage to buy our first house, in the South-East of England, when we were both still on tiny wages (him an apprentice and me in training for my current role). We were in our mid-twenties. This was way sooner than we’d ever dreamed of.

So now skip forward to a point several months after that article was published. I’d now decided to tackle our ever growing pile of house renovation debt, in an attempt to meet our new goal of debt-freeness. And you can imagine my irritation when I finally added up the cost of all those avocado breakfasts and realised that maybe – maybe – that bloody millionaire had actually had a point after all! Goddammit!

Turns out that the little things really do add up. While the amounts in question may seem so small as to be insignificant, actually it is those little costs, those treats, the ‘one-offs-which-are-actually-pretty-regular’ costs, that eat up all your spare cash. And that is extra cash that you could be adding to your savings or paying towards your debt.

So if you are truly committed to your financial goal, then yes – I’m afraid for now those lovely things may have to go. Sacrifice. It’s a necessary part of success.

So here we are. I still think that the ‘avocado issue’ trivialises the real uphill struggle faced by this generation in affording what the previous generation have managed fairly easily. But now at least I am saying that while eating my daily bowl of shreddies instead of avocado on toast. That is sacrifice, my friends.

Having said that – oh avocado, how I miss you! Shreddies are just not the same… Fear not, we will meet again. Just as soon as this millennial has cleared her debt.

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What is your financial end goal?

Financial goal

(Who needs a face to get to the finish line?)

Do you know where you are going in life?

Sorry – that came out a little more deep and meaningful than I intended.

What I mean is, when you think about your financial situation, do you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve? A financial goal?

If not, then I highly recommend sitting down and really facing up to that question. If you are in a hole of debt so deep you can’t see the sky, then I understand that it’s not easy to have that conversation with yourself. But actually, in your case the answer should be really simple: get rid of that awful black cloud in your life. Get debt free. Full stop.

If you don’t have debt then the answer might be trickier to land on. Do you want to get a deposit for a house together? Maybe you want to pay off your mortgage? Get an emergency fund sorted? Build a savings pot? Save for a special holiday? Save for ANY holiday?

It could be any number of things but I think it’s really important to settle on what it is that you want to achieve – because how else are you going to identify the steps you need to take towards it?

I once heard a saying, “if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it.” And it’s so true. If you want to achieve something, you have to aim for it first and then go headlong towards it.

For me, there have been various goals at stages in my life – including almost all of those listed above at one point or another. Today, at the moment, it’s clear the tens of thousands of pounds of debt that I’m currently in. I do have longer term goals I’d like to achieve after that, but until the debt is gone these are complete pipe dreams.

So I’ll put my head down and push towards that goal. And every decision I take should be with that goal in mind. Easy to say, not easy to do. But I’ll never achieve it if I don’t try. And neither will you.

So what are your financial goals you would like to achieve?

Spreadsheets are sexy

Spreadsheets

(O.M.G. – look at that sexy spreadsheet! Phwoar.)

Ok, I’m lying. Spreadsheets are not sexy – except perhaps to a really niche audience. I do not recommend bigging up your Excel skills by way of a chat up line. Not gonna work.

But spreadsheets are, nevertheless, a vital part of the money mission. To push this analogy to its limits, they are the Spanx of the money world. You need a decent robust spreadsheet underpinning everything and keeping it all together so that you can swan through life looking all sexy and money savvy. Ergo, spreadsheets are sexy.

Step one for me wrestling back control over my finances was to set myself up with a spreadsheet. Now I’m no Excel master. I’ve wrestled with many a table and graph in my time, and rarely do I win. But I’ve picked up a few tricks along the way and on a good day I can plug in a simple formula. This is helpful – it speeds things up. But it’s not vital. A calculator will do the trick too.

Basically the idea is to track your money. Some people call it a budget but actually I think that’s the next step up on the ladder. If you don’t know where the hell your money is going then there’s little point in setting unrealistic limits on what you spend. You’re just gonna blow straight through your budget without even thinking and then give up. Sadly I speak from much experience.

So step one is to track your spending. For a long time I told myself that this was pointless – I can see where the money is going from my bank statement. So why do I need to do the job of the bank and log it all separately myself? Waste-a-time.

Nope. This is your bad money brain talking. Truth is, it is nearly impossible to keep track of all your spending via your bank statement. Particularly if you are hiding from that statement at various points in the month (i.e a week before pay day, right?). Plus a statement doesn’t categorise spending so how are you gonna know just how much your coffee habit (or – because we’re millennials – avocado habit) is actually costing you a month? You might have a guesstimate in mind but chances are it’s wrong.

So: You need a spreadsheet.

There’s a ton of suggestions and pro-formas online for tracking spending which can get you started. I initially started out with one from the ‘Frugal Living’ forum on Money Saving Expert.com, but that was really aimed at setting an annual budget and didn’t really allow me to see where the cash was going each month. So I changed it and made it my own.

I set up a number of categories in columns along the top (which will be entirely personal to you) and put the days of the month down the side. Then I plugged in each item I bought. Yes – each time I bought a packet of crisps or a toy for my kid (or an avocado 🥑🥑🥑) on it went to the spreadsheet.

Now your spreadsheet has to work for you. Mine doesn’t happen to include household spending because my partner and I sort that separately, but it captures all my personal spending, which is the bit that was out of control. Obviously yours can include anything and everything you need.

And then you keep a running total of how much you’re spending in each category along the bottom. And voila – you promptly die of shock at JUST HOW BLOODY EXPENSIVE LIFE IS and that is the best realisation you will come to. Ever.

Because it is not possible to spend mindlessly when you know you have to remember how much a thing cost, in order to plug it into a spreadsheet later. And you become very aware of just how much you’ve already spent in that category this month and, who the hell knew that it all added up to so much anyway?? Jeez!

So, yeah. Spreadsheets. Track your money. Don’t worry too much about budgets just yet. It sounds a bit tedious and it is, but it also becomes mildly addictive. You start to see how you might actually get control of this situation one day and that feels great.

Just don’t expect it to be a great conversation piece at parties, that’s all.